While You Were Out

Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

Meg Kissinger has reported on the deplorable conditions in state mental health institutions and public housing for years.  Her work has brought her dozens of awards, including a Pulitzer Prize.  It also led to changes in the state mental health programs and over 600 new affordable housing units in her city.  But it is the very personal connection Kissinger shares with this reporting that made it both heartbreaking and healing to write, and to read.

While You Were Out: An intimate family portrait of mental illness in an era of silence is the haunting tale of living in a family wracked with mental health challenges from depression to substance abuse.  Kissinger recounts the generational trauma that impacted her family, as well as the genetic connections to certain mental illnesses like schizophrenia and depression.  As with any memoir, this book delves into very personal conversations and experiences within the Kissinger siblings – something she received their approvals to include.  But not every moment in this family’s history is dark.  She includes moments of levity and laughter, showing the character of her family in the good times, too.  This is truly a book about seeing the person, not the illness, which is key to all of Kissinger’s journalistic writings.

I give While You Were Out 5 out of 5 stars. It is a brave act to reveal so many personal tragedies and struggles to the world.  I appreciate the way Kissinger details the cascading effects of tragedy – a loved one’s death causes family members to self-medicate or spiral into depression, which in turn leads to substance abuse or suicidal thoughts.  I appreciated the inclusion of the personal guilt several family members felt after each incident.  As an audiobook, I also appreciate Kissinger’s work as the narrator.  Hearing her speak about her siblings gives her words more life and authenticity.

I would direct this book to more mature audiences over 16.  With a basis of mental health struggles, this book may not be well suited for readers who are, themselves, struggling with mental health challenges at this time.  This book has dark moments that could be triggering for those currently in treatment for their mental health, or those who have lost a loved one to the struggle.  I would, however, recommend this book to anyone looking to understand the struggle to treat mental illnesses – it is a beautiful testament to the challenges to stabilize after a crisis.

When I saw this audiobook on Netgalley, I was quick to request the opportunity to review it.  As someone in treatment for mental health challenges, I appreciate books that give the reader a look at the humanity behind the struggle and remove the stigma of treatment.  The description of this book drew my attention including the title.  While You Were Out is named after the little pink note with the message her mother left, telling of her grandmother’s passing.  But that title is so much more and alludes to the adage of patients being “out of their mind” while in crisis.  It was a healing experience to listen to the book and gave me the insight and language to have more constructive conversations with my treatment team.  I hope this book can help other patients and their loved ones in a similar way.

While You Were Out: An intimate family portrait of mental illness in an era of silence will release on September 5, 2023. Preorder your copy today!

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If you or someone you love is experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out for help.  The National Alliance on Mental Illness can be found at NAMI.org or by calling 988.  You matter.

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• Current print book: Hang the Moon, Jeanette Walls
• Current audio book: Angels & Demons, Dan Brown
• Book I’m most looking forward to: Triptych, Karen Slaughter